8 months old

Lilyanna at 8 months old she sits up by herself and talkes up a storm, laughs all the time she is one happy baby.... 

Getting ready for our frist Christmas 2013

The tree is up and the presents or wrapped we are waiting to see what Santa Brings to us.
We are also very excited to thank our Heavenly father for his son Jesus and to tell him we love with all out hearts.. ( We do this all year all the time but it is fun to celebrate  Jesus's birthday)

I am so excited to watch Lilyanna open her gifts, She is such a sweet and happy baby she always has a smile and a giggle for us she is such a friendly little person I love her so. 

 It is an exciting time of year My sister and I have healed our rift and are becoming closer praise be to God. We are excited to watch Landon and LaShanna share Christmas with Lilyanna.

The snow is coming down like crazy so I see lots of sledding in the future for LaShanna
and Landon....

I have found a really wonderful Church to go to here in Kalispell it is filled with wonderful loving people that just love the Lord.

Well little Lilyanna was born on 4-23-2013 at 6:41PM 7 oz  7 lbs 19 inches long and perfect. She is just as sweet and healthy as anyone could ask for. Thank you God for all your mercy you have had on  this little baby.

I have managed to get a small amount of milk on the right side and she comfort nurses that side most. I do put her on the left to try and bring in some milk on that side. The drops help a lot.

The SNS is not as easy as I thought it would be. I am going to the lactation nurses at the hospital this week to get some pointers on it.
I will not give up. I love nursing her and I am still praying God gives me all the milk I need to be able to nurse her with out the SNS. 

I love being a new mom again. I know this will be my last new baby so I am enjoying every minute except being so tired lol, but that to will pass. LaShanna loves being a big sister and wants to help all the time. she is such an awesome daughter I love her even more now as I watch her adjust to the baby and see her unconditional love. She is such a blessing to me thank you God for my Daughters I feel very blessed to have them....

Lilyanna was born on April 23rd 6:41pm 7pounds 70oz 19 inches long  and healthy birthmom is healthy all is well.

We are leaving today after John gets off work we should have Lilyanna by Thursday evening I am so excited to hold and nurse her and  bond with her at this point I don't even know what she looks like.
I will post pictures as soon as I can

Well we found out that the Birth mother made a huge mistake and was not induced on April 2nd. I have to say I have not been pumping like I should the stress of the wait and all I just stopped I will however Nurse Lilyanna with the SNS and start my drops back up today. I am so excited Lilyanna should be born any time now.  We are a day past her due date I am getting more excited as the time goes on I can't wait to hold her in my arms and see her for the first  time I will post pictures.

I made Lilyanna's Bassinet cover today I have the car seat canopy done and my nursing cover done
all we need now is Lilyanna  

Update I love my new drops there very tasty. I am still pumping every three hours now the baby's birth mother is being induced on April 2nd  also am so excited I am getting Mommy's milk from a dear friend for Lily until my milk comes in if it does. I suppose you wonder in today's age why bother with nursing and human milk, well I feel it is very important for the baby to have all that moms milk has to offer and I want to nurse because I feel it is very important for bonding and it is what God made women to do I loved nursing my boys and would have nursed my 8 year old adopted daughter but I was told  couldn't by my doctor so I believed him. I really feel that more doctors need to know about SNS and inducing  mothers milk..

So as I said in my previous post I was taking  all natural lactate drops they upset my tummy really bad so while I was on a birthing site I was told about Mountain Meadow Herbs and there Maxi Milk  an all natural way to help produce breast milk wow what a difference it tastes super good and does not upset my tummy. I still do not have milk I am hoping that this new stuff from Mountain Meadow Herbs will help the fact that I like the taste and am more relaxed taking it is a huge plus. We are still waiting for the baby to be born and praying daily that God will heal anything that the birth mother did and give us a super  healthy baby. God is good for even iving me this chance as it is. I am ready with everything for the baby now I am just cleaning and dreaming about what she will look like..

Not much to report today still pumping no milk at times I feel a  little sad I want to see milk really bad.  It is really up to God. I am still pumping and using my lactaion drops, there is a change in my breast so I am hopeful.......

Good evening to all I am making this short I am starting to pump every three hours now still no milk but lots of drawing and tenderness I have faith that God will provide for me. I do have to share that i am very inpatient so this is harder than I thought it would be. I want milk now but I truly will be happy to just use my SNS and bond with my new baby. I will be doing a photo shoot and will post pictures of SNS and the baby when she gets here. Well need to go and pump.
I need to due an update I was told the birth mom had signed the papers for my baby and she didn't yes I am sure she will soon any way it goes I will still get the baby at least that is what I am being told..

( This post was suppose to go before the last one sorry)  Well  I am having a very emotional day today I don't even want to pump or even think today my head hurts. It is hard to leave it in Gods hands.  I know I should but it is really hard I need to do just that. Today I get to talk to the birth mom and try to put her mind at ease wow I feel anything but at ease that's for sure  she will get to call me at around 3pm today.  I know that God wants me to raise this baby but it is kinda hard not to throw your arms up and say I quite when a person who is taking drugs and poisoning there unborn child is or thinks she is calling the shots and a man who is stung out on drugs and shooting up thinks he can call the shoots wow where is the fairness for the baby at. We have a really warped system here please pray all goes well and God gives me the words I need today. So God gave me the words I needed and the birth mom
has signed the papers yahoo....

I am getting so excited  about baby Lily. It is getting harder and harder to wait but at last that's all  I can do until she decides to make her appearance. In the mean time I am pumping and getting my breasts ready to nurse so far no milk but it is to soon  really. I am pumping about every 5 hours during the day as her due dates gets closer I will increase to every three hours. I have stopped the drops for now they kinda upset my tummy but will begin to take them again in a few days. I am how ever starting to fill the draw on my breast at the same time each day just like when you nurse so that is a good sign. I am excited to see how much milk I will get. So the journey continues on I thought I might mention that I am totally nesting and getting ready for lily to come home...

Good morning all my friends as I sit her on this Monday writing this I am starting my lactating drops and they stink they don't taste to bad I think I can handle this 3 times a day. I will do anything to nurse this baby so we will see how this turns out. My family always said I was hard headed so in this it is a good thing lol. I was so excited today a friend - customer brought me my first  gift outfit for the baby it is so sweet it warmed my heart. This same friend adopted twins and nursed them so she had some very valuable info for me I was happy about that.  So the nursing journey begins please pray God gives me milk thanks and have a great day.

Well as my last post said I had a foster baby. Kiley is now with her brothers and her new foster family she is 7 months old and doing very very well. I get to see her on occation and still love her dearly but God had a different way for me to go. Nerver doudt that God knows what is best he really does.

I asked many nights why God why did you take my Kiley and there was no answer except God knows all he sees the big picture. Though it hurt and almost did me in I had to come to grips with the fact that God had my life in his hands and that is were it needed to be..

Than by chance I was introduced to a very troubled young person who was in jail and on her way to prison. I felt compelled to tell her I would take her baby and raise it and love it as my own.

( I don't ever want an empty nest I love kids)

She chose to allow me to do this and to keep her sweet baby out of the system that takes guts on herpart she does not know me no I her a leap of faith.                                                                       ( Please pray for the birth mother that her life will improve and she will find God )

I know now that God did know the big picture and he put Kiley in a home with her 2 brothers and a wonderful foster family that will always keep them together. God knew my little angel was going to need me.. God also knew that LaShanna the first little angel he put in my life needed a sibling she is lonely being an only child.

So a new journey starts as we sit and wait for a call to go and pick up our new angel up from the hospital.

I am now 51 and I have to say I feel like a young mother waiting for labor and dreaming of what my baby will look like, what will the baby weigh and will it have blue eyes or brown eyes, blond hair or brown. Will it be tiny or a big baby oh my all the questions and the the waiting is driving me crazy but soon I will hold my little angel in my  arms.

So as I wait for my little to be born I am prepareing my home and my body as I plan on nursing my angel I will  use a divise called a supplemental nursing system as well as pumping to try and bring in my milk I pray God brings in  full milk production but if not at least my new little angel will know the comfort of nursing and I will bond with my little angel...

A little up date on my life I am 51 married 15 almost 16 years to my hubby we have 7 Children between us ad 4 Grand children I own a small kids clothing store our children range in age from 45 to 8 years of age and our grand children range from 2 to 4 . We live in a fairly small town in Montana and love where we live. I love the Lord wth all my heart and want nothing more than to be the women God wants me to be.

So the journey begins !!!!!

New baby

Well I am starting a new Chapter in in my life I am fostering a new baby she is 3 months old and only weights 9 pounds 21 1/2 inches long.She is really tiny and very sweet. What the Lord has in store for me now is only a guess so I will put all my faith in him to show me. I only know I am to love this little angle of his and to show her his love and teach her his faith. I am unable to post pictures do to the laws in Montana so if  you would like to see her let me know I will send you a picture via email. I am always amazed at what God puts before me and asks me to do for him what faith he has in me. I love my heavenly father more the life its self and will follow him to my dying day. At times I feel so alone and even a little jealous of my brethren that can be together ( shame on me ) but it is true. Than the Lord brings this little baby into my life and says here love her. If I was not here I would not have gotten to do this for my heavenly father so I am lucky to be here. I feel blessed to have all your prayers, love and support. God has shown me at least one reason I am here by my self  yes by myself but not alone he is always there with me holding me in his hands and loving me. I am humbled by his love for me. When asked why I took this little angle of Gods I reply I had no choice when God speaks you have to listen. God never asked why he sent his son to die for us he just did it because he loved us so much, I just do what God wants because I love him so much. I do pray that he will provide a way for me to come and visit in Boise and Oregon soon but only he knows what I need and when I need it. I can never explain what having to rely solely on God has meant in my growth and faith.

I will keep you all up to date on Kiley my new little angle..... I am honered that God put her in my life to keep safe for him...

Well Lets see I think I will start with what God did for me yesterday . My moms house is just above a very steep hill and yesterday I was going to work with my 4 wheel drive on and I hit that hill and lost control of my car I had LaShanna with me. We did Broddy's and hit the ditch and jumped out of the ditch all the way down the hill there was a car in the ditch and I figured it was a miracle from God that I did not hit it. We came to a stop and LaShanna says mommy that girl had her flashers on we should help her so as this was a strange thing that happened to me ( I rareley have trouble in 4 wheel drive) I thought why not I have four wheel drive so I turned the car around and went to check on the girl in the car. She was facing down hill I was going up hill I stopped rolled my window down I was maybe 3 feet from her and than it happened my car slid right into her fender to fender and than proceeded to slide back wards. Well as you can all imagine there was metal scrapping and all kinds of ugly sounds. I though well God you know what I need so help please. So many thing where going through my head like there goes my savings and shoot I am late for work lots of thoughts in a very fast amount of time. So I get out of car to give the girl my info and make sure she has help coming. We look at the cars and there is no damage nothing not even a scratch!!!  nothing I am so happy I can not even believe it. It was like when God took smoking from me it was hard to believe there it was my very own miracle to share with a stranger on the road. So I said do you believe in Angels she said yes and I said good because you just witnessed God putting one between our cars is that awesome or what she said it was awesome and she had help coming. She than said it was weird because she had made a call to her parents where there was no signal and she was right there is no cell signal on that mountain. So there you have it my miracle from God to share with you all.

My sweet sweet Sister Janie I love you

I have a very dear sweet Sister in God that has passed and I want to say how much I loved her. Her child like love for the Lord was an inspiration to many many people she was such a love to be around and now she is with  our Lord as sweet as that is I am sad that I will not see here again until I meet the Lord myself  I will miss her smile and her sweet hugs and her words of encouragement. I pray for her husband and her Brothers and Sisters that God help them through this loss,                                       (Sister Janie I love you see you soon) Love your Sister always, Sister Charlene

I am back

Well after some thought I decided to come come back to my blog and as odd as it may seem it is about my mom she has hurt her back again and I may need to make some choices again this year.

These choices will be put in Gods hands for I have not the strength or knowledge to make them myself. My flesh wants to run but not my heart so I was up last night crying and praying and now I ask you to pray for me.

Taking care of my Mommy

Well some of you might know and some may not know that I have spent the last 3 months taking care of my mommy and it has been awesome. I have learned more about her and learned to love her more. I really didn't think I could love my mom more but I do. God has also used this to teach me to be graceful and kinder and patient I have learned how to speak to my Sister Sister and learned that I can do anything with God. I have laughed cried, giggled and stayed up to watch my mom sleep. I have held her and hugged her and cooked for her and just been there for her, all though she has been in pain God has used this to teach me and her so much. My little girl has also learned to be a helper and to have compassion for others. God has manifested himself to us more than I thought possible and our faith has been so increased. If you were to tell LaShanna that God did not exist she would and could give you many reasons why he does and why he loves her and she would tell you she even talkes to him all of which she has learned through this incredible time with my mom her Grand-mom as she says. I received a prophecy almost 4 years ago about God wanting me to take care of my mom at the time I didn't realize what it all meant now I do and I am thankful for God choosing me for this task. I am learning to love and to let go at the same time I am so thankful that God loves me enough to teach this lesson and to help me and hold my hand while I care for my mom.
Well there is my update God loves me and I love him with my whole heart... do you?

I am missing you all

OK Here is what's on my mind. I am missing my family allot really allot and that includes my church families from all over even those I have I not met. I had a Sister tell me that you can not love someone right away and that people say I love you to freely well not the case here because I love you all God gave me that ability and so there I said it I love you and miss you sooo much ( you all know who you are my friends and church family and kids)

A new chapter in my life

Well were to start I have left my job after 13 months and my sister Jennie and I are opening our own store I am so excited to be doing this. As with all good things the Lord provides satan tries to take it away and boy is he working hard to do that this time. I know the store is God given it all happened so fast and everything has fallen into place very smoothly and every prayer to God about things we have needed has been answered so yes satan is mad and after me I am so very glad that I have God and all my Sister and Brothers to pray for me.
Our store will be a kids second hand store and some fun collectibles for moms as well it should be allot of fun and God willing we should do well. I was telling Sister Charlotte and Sister Darlene that I will fill successful if Gods light shine through me to the people I come in contact with and to my sister all I want is to let Gods love flow through me to his people and be the person God wants me to be.

On another note I was blessed in a way only Gods people will understand one of my fellow homeschoolers has lost her husband to ms as I read her journey with him to the end I was blessed to see Gods love at work. I wish I could repeat the wonderful words she had but I would not do them Justis as her sweet husband lay in bed on his journey to meet God the love for the Lord that flowed from her was awesome. I feel touched in a way I have never been touched before. It was so sweet to read her words and to feel her love for God and her Husband all though she will never read my blog I feel compelled to say that through her God has shown me what kind of wife and mother and Sister he wants me to be and shown me that all though death is sad for us left behind it is a sweet blessing for those going to meet God. I do not know if this all makes any since but I had to talk about it and share with the ones I love the great and wonderful things God has shown me lately. In my own trail with my husbands health I pray God can give me as much grace as he did my fellow homeschooler for all she saw was Gods love for her and her husband and there children and to take time to share her love for God as her husband lay drifting closer to his heavenly home with the grace she had was truly Gods work and I feel blessed to have been a part of that.( Thank You God for your love and guildance I pray you will help me Lord to be all that you want me to be and that in my times of dispair and sorrow I can have the grace I need and shine only your love to those around me Amen)